I’m learning.

I think THE hardest thing to do is to limit my activities Before I do to much.

All my life I’ve been “push push push”, “keep on going”, “muscle through it”. And I would keep going until the blackouts started, the nightmares overwhelmed me, and I ended up essentially comatose in my room.  
I’ve learned that I need to be aware of how much I’m doing and listen to my mind and my body when it tells me “enough”. 

The additional stressor is that other people can’t seem to accept that this is how it is. 
I’m fortunate that I’ve got a couple friends that *have* learned to accept this, even if they may be disappointed, and I don’t feel torn between doing what I need to do for me and what I need to do for them. 

I’ve been on the go all week and I have to go to dog training tomorrow. So today needs to be a quiet day. A day inside being calm. No driving. No crowds. No extra noise. 
I had plans for today. Things that needed to be done. They’ll have to wait. 

I am trying to not feel guilty.  😦

Leave a comment


  1. Alyce Aber

     /  January 31, 2013

    I so know what you mean, Rachel. I have had a re-occurance of my Fibromyalgia after a remission of 4 years. I had it since 2000 so I had learned a lot of what I can and can’t do. BUT I forgot in the 4 years it was in remission. I have to do the same thing. I need to know what I will be doing in advance so I can rest and prepare. OR if there is something unexpected or more stressful mentally or physically than I anticipated, I NEED to rest and recuperate or total burn out occurs. My mind “goes” and PAIN is overwhelming. It is def. a learning (and relearning) experience. And you are right, MOST people don’t understand at all. Even my family, that KNOWS what to expect, forgets at times. They know I live on the precipice of “the last straw”. We have to care for ourselves and be diligent if we want to function.

  2. Anonymous

     /  January 31, 2013

    Don’t feel guilty for what is best for you


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