Reintegrating is difficult.

I’ve been thinking about this post for several days now and I’m still not sure if I can adequately describe the situation, especially without sounding whiny. I’m not feeling whiny about it but I want to adequately describe it, so here goes…

I love being back in an apartment. I love not being homeless. But it is difficult to jump into the whole “housed” mentality again.
When I was homeless all my energy was spent surviving; I wasn’t worried about what people expected of me, because they didn’t expect anything of me.
Now, people expect an awful lot of me. Even just the basic things like being sociable.

I’m having difficulty keeping track of all the things I’m supposed to be doing.
Even the things that are supposed to be fun, were fun in a past life, that I’d love to get into again as soon as possible, right now those things are pressure to re-integrate.

I spent 6 months being fairly isolated. Now I’m supposed to jump back into society and go here and go there and do this and that, all with lots of people.

People at my apartment complex want to be sociable (this is a good thing but rather overwhelming) and I want to be sociable back but I also want/need my alone/quiet time.

I have the gift of a years membership at my old rowing club but I’m so out of shape and so not used to being around people or being evaluated on my skill (rowing technique) that I’m finding it hard to take advantage of the gift.

It’s a lot to deal with after being so alone and quiet for so long.

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