Just figured out what keeps waking me up.

My time living in my truck was uneventful, in the larger picture, but there was some “trauma”. Mostly just being in the open and vulnerable to anyone who wandered by.

Probably the biggest daily fear I had was the hail or the knock.

The hail was someone outside yelling “anyone in there?” before being rousted and processed by the police, then told to move on.

The knock was the worst though. Anyone coming up and thumping on the camper, or shoving it, or whatever else they did.
For some reason this always made my heart race, my adrenaline spike, my breath catch, and my fight or flight reaction kick into high gear.

I just realized as I was finally drifting off that in my mind/dream I heard again the thumping on my camper. And I was wide awake again.

It’s interesting to me, in that clinical detached way, that something so simple can be a “nightmare” and be troublesome enough to be described as a “trauma”.

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