Talk therapy?

If talk therapy worked I’d be “cured”.

Each organization I deal with needs to know (or thinks they need to know) all the horrors of my past. In detail. With explanations.

So each week, lately, I’ve been telling a whole new group of people that I don’t know (but who of course will keep everything confidential and will never ever lose any paperwork or records, but that’s not really the point anyway) all the terrible sordidness that was the first half of my life. (not terribly sordid truthfully but to hear their gasps and sniffles I should be selling to the enquirer or the star or something)

I’ve got to say that constantly being forced to describe years of trauma over and over is not helpful for ones mental state.
And the tears and pitying looks are actually offensive.

Let’s take all the bad things that are shameful and pass them out to as many people as possible! Let’s tell everyone!
That way everyone can look at you with pity and sorrowful expressions and can make themselves feel oh so much better because they have such an overflowing of compassion for the poor little dear.

Fuck people (not you readers!), is the concept of moving on no longer taught in counselor school? (I mean counselors as therapists, not lawyers).

But you know what?
This evening I had a visit from the wife/mother of the Christmas family. And you know what? We had a good time, I did anyway, I think she did too. Did we talk about how terrible life was? No, I mean there was no denying that I’m living in my truck but so what. We talked about regular stuff, funny stuff her kids do. Funny stuff WE do. Society. Siblings. Lots of rambling stuff. Religion vs belief. Her work. Possibilities for my work. Grandparents and pets. How we’re alike, how we’re different.

And I feel the best emotionally that I’ve felt in days.

Therapists.. Case workers.. Well-meaning community organizers.. Take note.

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4 Comments

  1. Brandi

     /  February 8, 2012

    I agree! Alyce says the same thing. She always said therapy just make it all more “there” in her face instead of helping dealing with it.
    Brandi ( Alyce’s daughter)

    Reply
  2. Tim

     /  February 8, 2012

    So to paraphrase, it takes a lot of schooling and training to be no help as a therapist? Methinks there is a requirement to be able to relate, if not find another career.
    Could you just have a file to take fromone ‘interview’ to another?

    Reply
  3. I would be doing ill to say that they were useless for all situations. But for me, and I think many others, that approach is worse than useless.

    I’ve thought of the file approach but they won’t read it, instead they’ll set it down and say, well why don’t you tell me about it instead.
    If you don’t do it their way the you’ve earned the label “non-communicative” or “unwilling to cooperate” or “not willing to work on issues” and so on and do on.
    This means you get no support jumping through the required hoops or the hoops get taken away completely, leaving you with even less than you had when you started the necessary process.

    For a profession that is supposedly so attuned to helping people recover from abuses of power and trust they are astoundedly unaware of their own abuse of that power.

    Reply
  4. stillstrange

     /  February 8, 2012

    I am working on a book about the mental abusive relationship I experienced. Why? Because it is something I feel I need to do to help not only myself but also others who are going through the same thing now. However, this may take years to complete. A few paragraphs and I start to freak out again as it al comes back. I will probably publish it under a Pen-Name as well as change all names in the story to protect the guilty and innocent.

    Reply

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