Food stamps

Today I had to start the process to extend my food stamps.

This means sitting/standing in a large crowded room full of people with crying, screaming, whining children for 3 hours while trying to keep track of whether your name has been called or not.

This is required to turn in a form that you have previously filled out.
Then you wait for another hour or so for them to call your name and then tell you to come back in two weeks at such and such a time to do the whole thing all over again.

I took Keegan.

The first person I meet (other than those going in and out the door as I come in) is a security guard telling me that I can’t bring her in. I just looked at him and pointed to the cape Keegan wears. Then he started demanding a “certificate”. I ignored him and walked past him. When the woman at the desk said “you can’t have animals here” I replied “yes I can” and continued the process of getting my number so I could go find a place to wait for the next couple of hours.

Places like that are torture for me. Noise, “rules”, completely open with no place to guard your self, constant movement, people intruding, drunks starting fights.
Within 10 minutes my eyes start to do the 360 tunnel vision. I have to consciously force myself to breathe. I get decidedly twitchy. My adrenaline is pumping full throttle. Oh, and no food or drinks are allowed so using up all that glucose staying conscious isn’t a good idea either.

Keegan was beautiful, as I’ve always expected of her. Though she was showing the stress too by the end of it.
I came out and collapsed against the truck for 15 minutes or so, breathing, refocusing, trying to close down everything.

I drove back to my usual area and closed up the camper. I got in my warm sleeping bag, pulled my fuzzy mutt in after me. And started trying to undo the day. And hold off the exhaustion until later in the evening.

It’s almost 7:30, I think that’s late enough. Bedtime and recovery, both mentally/emotionally and physically, for me.

I still have to go back in the middle of February to stand in line for a couple hours and then get interviewed to see if I’m approved.

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