Why did our noses evolve the way they did?

No, seriously! Think about it!

There’s ice forming everywhere but you’re a smart animal. You cover everything with furs except your nose, which you need to leave uncovered so you can breathe. Your nose freezes. You then develop frostbite; which, because of your lack of medical knowledge leads to an infection which spreads to your tiny still evolving brain and you die a miserable death, though whether it was from infection or inhaling small bugs and plant matter due to the loss of your nose, future anthropologists are never able to ascertain.

You’re standing in the ocean digging for clams, the waves come in but you’re fine because you’re standing up and can still see and hear which way is land, but oops… Water reaches your nose and you are so confused and surprised that you lose your footing, hence losing sight of where you are and getting towed out to sea by the slight undertow. Future anthropologists never find you.

The ice age is over and heat changes your forests to endless savannah. You put on your newest invention, a hat; but while your ears and neck are protected, the tip of your nose is scalded and becomes the primary locale for your first bout of melanoma 10 years in the future. Which, again, spreads to your brain and kills you; future anthropologists are again unable to determine the exact cause of death.

(Feel free to add your theories of maladaptation and luckless anthropologists!)

Ps. What kinds of things do YOU think about when you’ve been woken up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep?

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  1. Jerryprism

     /  January 5, 2012

    Re: Nose. Either the Creator was an underachiever or natural selection ain’t that elegant.


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