My weakness…

Who says you can’t learn anything from less than optimal experiences? Oh… No one, right, it’s the “failures” that teach us the most about ourselves.


I learned that the few contacts (friends) that I have are incredibly important to my well-being. And that being able to have contact with the world, including these friends, can make me or break me. I guess I’ve learned that I would not do well in solitary confinement.

Throughout the past week I’ve started several posts for this blog about feeling isolated, confused, alone. I never published any of these drafts but I did write them.

Last night I determined that I was sinking faster than was acceptable and needed to be able to connect to the outside world. I walked to the local radio shack and purchased a Virgin Mobile “mifi” modem.

I wasn’t able to set it up until this morning and it took several hours at the local library. While at the library I thought I would snap, today’s library is not the library I remember from my youth. I miss the libraries of older times, I even miss card catalogs.

so anyway, I got a months unlimited access, though they throttle your download severely after 2.5gb. Still, just being able to email people, post to this blog, read the news, access my chem class website, stay connected has made me much less anxious. I find myself feeling that I might be able to get through this again, instead of seeing only the negatives that I’ve been seeing the past week.

I am a social animal, just a very selective social animal.

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